Devoted to my mom, Olga!
One Monday, California early morning.. I am passing my desk with my mom’s photo on the table. “Why don’t you talk to me? How could you leave me all alone.. You are such a great yogi and failed to somehow connect with me within all these years since you passed away?... I miss you so much!”
I am a yogi … Without yoga practice I can’t breathe, I can’t be on this planet.. So have these random attempts to promote myself to make my living, with no big luck … so this Tuesday I decided to find a student photographer to take pictures of my yoga for free..
The photographer is a film student from China. Very cheerful and intelligent young man.. Going with me this Friday for a photo shoot in Malibu.. I just thought it would be a good idea for the combo of yoga practice and yoga photo shoot on some almost private beach in Malibu..
This Tuesday, my roommate complains of not feeling well … I didn’t know it was a virus and only found it out on Thursday when I started feeling my throat sore..
This Friday .. When I am sick I am fasting .. Prevention is the key.. Decided to fast until the sickness is gone .. Saturday .. still sick .. Sunday I keep fasting. Kai came to my house in Mar Vista at noon and we are about to start driving to Malibu but I am not sure if I can train today, have no strength from two days of fasting …
We are driving on PCH.. Hot and traffic, feel very weak.. I decided to try since we are already here on the Matador Beach.. Crowded, we found a spot near the famous Elephant Rock ..
I started my practice, surrounded by waves, sand, big rocks, birds and people … There was a very attractive girl right next to us .. She was definitely a fan of my practice.. The whole time she was looking at me and I was pretending I was practicing yoga..
Not sure what was the stronger effect on my practice but the girl was definitely a part of the equation..
Is one the most beautiful beaches in California.. The place I used to live when my mom was still alive.. I did spend lots of time on the beach practicing yoga.. Very powerful and magic place..
I feel like nature is much more interconnected with the spiritual world since it doesn’t have the mind as a middle man, that wants to be the boss … Different universal powers as well as people that passed away are communicating with us through nature … Most of people are too destructed to pay attention..
When I practice yoga in nature I feel so much more alive, aligned and connected to myself and with everyone and everything else…
Sunset is over.. After hours of yoga on the beach, lots of pictures and videos I decided to swim in the ocean.. I was all covered in sand, happy and overflowed with joy. It was beyond magic, the sky was extremely orange.. I was standing in water playing with the waves when I realize that my mom has passed away 10 years ago in the same period of time … and her ashes were spread by me and one of my friends in the exact same spot I am standing right now… I mean exactly the same spot ..
My photographer is standing next to me, nice super friendly guy and I feel like dejavous! I am with a friend I met just couple days ago on Craiglist, from a foreign country. But I feel such a connection as if I knew him for a long time.. And he is right here sharing this moment with me and I feel the universal support..
I was shocked to realize that when this Monday I had the conversation with my mom’s photograph and through some unreal ways she brought me here since I asked her to get in touch with me, the place I haven’t been to for several years..
Being in water I saw two strange guys next to our stuff .. I decided to rush back .. When I approached them, one of the guys told me he liked the music I was playing.. We had a nice chat. I had to put my speaker in my backpack but I kept hearing the music.. First I thought I forgot to turn my speaker off when I noticed that the two guys had a speaker too and they were playing similar music…
We were about to leave, packed but kept staying on the beach for it was so magic … some power forced me to stay longer.. I gazed at the big Elephant Rock and saw one seagull staring at me .. We were looking at each other for 15 min. I recognized my mom in the bird .. When I asked the bird if it could talk to me, the bird negatively shacked the head.. Then I asked “what would be the way to communicate?” The bird tapped the rock with one leg several times.. I asked Kai to look at the bird and the very moment the bird flew away to the orange exposure of the sunset … We were speechless and kept looking at the bird disappearing into the distance..
I regretted that I didn’t take the picture of the bird. My phone was somewhere in the backpack and I was all wet to try to find it … but we had to leave before the tide would get too high, so we could get to my car.. We passed several big rocks on the beach when I saw exactly the same looking seagull on the top of one of the rocks. I asked Kai to take the picture as if my mom was still communicating with me ..
We kept walking when we saw two sailboats, exactly the same kind, two sails on each of exactly the same color. The only difference between the two boats was the size, one was twice smaller. The small one was in front and the big one was behind. I asked Kai to take the picture and by the time he took the camera the bigger boat came in front..
The tide was too high and we had to turn around and use another route.. When we almost approached the stairs to walk up the hill we saw a wedding couple, they were just in front of us, in pure black and White, like life and death …
On our way up the hill we kept enjoying the vast ocean view and the great energy of that summer night..
Walking along the night road has something mysteries and meditative. During the sidewalk I started hearing my mom’s voice inside ..
On our drive back home we see the full orange moon, bloody moon .. so beautiful that we decided to stop on Malibu beach near famous Malibu Sea Food restaurant.. It reminded me of the symbol of Hatha-Yoga, Sun and Moon, the balance of female and male polarities, day and night, black and white, life and death, Shiva and Shakti …
We all have soul-mates, those souls we travel through lifetimes.. There is no distance or even death that can separate us.. We will always find the way to communicate with each other.. We will always find each other even when there is no way, even if we are on the different parts of the universe …
I have never had stronger connection with any human being but my mom, she was my yoga and life teacher … She has been given me so many lives during only one life, and she is and forever my unconditional LOVE …
Her name was Olga, the female version of my Name! We used to write letters to our Yoga Guru, Kaliji and we would always sign the letter:
Oleg & Olga